I drank quite a bit this afternoon and now sitting at my desk, still in my work clothes, fully conscious of the way my bladder is filling. I'm at the point where I'm only slightly uncomfortable - I fidget from the time to time and although I try to keep my thighs from touching they snap together when I'm not being vigilant.

Oh how I love this. Figured it was a good time to introduce myself. I'm a closet case. Twenty years old and my boyfriend doesn't know a thing about this little obsession of mine. I am very secretive about it. But I feel like sharing this bit of myself with you.

Ever since I realized that being desperate gives me a huge thrill, I started experimenting with it. Drinking a lot in school and then setting times that I'd have to hold it until. Like not peeing in the morning and drinking a pint of water at recess and then holding it till lunch.

It got to a point where I did this often and even sometimes put myself in situations where I could end up peeing myself...but I never did. I always managed to get to a bathroom when I realized I was seriously in danger of wetting my pants. Maybe it's a strong bladder. Maybe I don't drink enough. But the way I work is that if I just drink a lot of water and then wait, I'll get really full and then my bladder will start pulsating (that's happening now, come to think of it...) and I'll start writhing but it's all at a pace I can predict. And I have ample opportunity to chicken out. So unless I was to be tied down (which isn't a bad idea) I end up running to the bathroom in time.

Then I figured out a way to trick my body. Basically, I drink about two pints of water and then drink another two pints an hour later when my bladder is already filling at a steady pace. What happens is that once the second pints start flooding my bladder I start needing to pee really badly REALLY fast (my knees are locked together now). And I usually make it so that I'm in the car or at the mall or something. The pressure becomes incredibly intense and I try my best to hold it but my pee ends up forcing its way out against my will- embarrassing- but thrilling.

The diet story I wrote is based on true experiences. I am on that diet and trust me it works. A few people at my office are on it. I am now at the perfect body weight with the added bonus of occasional desperation...and some pretty good episodes with co-workers nearly pissing themselves as well (oooooh I need to go). There was this one guy who tried the diet and was not at all used to how fast his bladder filled after drinking so much. And you know how when you sit sometimes you don't realize how badly you need to pee until you stand up? Well he stood up, grabbed his crotch in horror and dashed off to the bathroom. I think he sort of made it because his pants weren't that wet after...

Another thing I enjoy is putting other people in desperate situations. Giving them a lot to drink and then going someplace where the bathrooms are out of order or a long walk away. Since I do this so much myself I can calculate how fast they'll get desperate pretty accurately. Yeah I know it can be cruel but they don't have to drink three times their bladder capacity and then go to a packed movie and actually listen when I say "stay, it's the best part" and they wait until the first drops are escaping before trying to elbow their way out...

Oooooooh I'm getting really desperate now. My bladder feels like it's bursting at the seams and I have to wedge one hand between my legs every few seconds. I'm rocking. I can hold out though. I can I can I can I know I can...Oohhhhh. I'm still dry though I think pretty much...my teeth are clenched. I'm going to hold it though. One more story- I can tell one more story.

There was one time I had this hold it game in high school. It was between two other girls and I. We each drank two 20 ounce Snapple Ice Teas and made a rule that we had to hold it till the bell rang at the end of the school day. (I'm fidgeting like you would not believe right now...)

At first I was fine and then I started realizing that I drank a lot more than I could hold for that long. The other girls realized that they were in trouble too and watched the clock intently, straining to keep from peeing themselves. I got to the point where I am right now, a strong urge every minute or two, trying so hard to keep the pee in for just a little longer.

It stopped being fun when I realized I couldn't get out of my desk and to the bathroom without bursting. I had never wet myself in public before. And neither had they. It was my friend Molly who lost it first. She was too polite to hold herself. The pee just started trickling out of her, through her Catholic uniform skirt. The look of horror on her face was priceless, but I could have enjoyed it more if I weren't on the verge myself (it's starting to really HURT now). We both watched as she struggled to hold it back and lost. And then we lost ourselves, at the same time. The pee just forced its way out of me and I just clenched and held but it came out anyway. Luckily we sat in the back of the room and managed not to get ourselves too noticed...

Shoooo I can't type anymore...

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